Bigfoot

Let's start with a classic that everyone loves. We all know and love our Bigfoots. Maybe a bit too much. We got Sasquatch, Yetis, Skunk Apes, Momo, The Yowie.

We got a lot of big ape guys! Well, according to eyewitnesses, fake footprints, and that one video THAT IS TOTALLY NOT JUST SOMEONE IN A COSTUME! Over on the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization, you can find testimonies from ALL over the world! Or at least the US and Canada. The natural range for Sasquatch, of course, c'mon, EVERYONE knows this!

California seems to have a lot of Bigfoot sightings, with most reports sharing that people occasionally hear "vocalazations" in the woods. One camper even reported that his duffel bag full of food that he just put up in a tree was mysteriously stolen! WHAT ANIMAL COULD'VE DONE THIS??

Alright, riffing aside, I do enjoy the Bigfoot myth a bit. It's fun to imagine there being an undiscovered species of giant apes just hiding out in the woods. Also, you're lying if you say Bigfoot hunting shows aren't the peak of modern entertainment.

Fresno Nightcrawlers

Oh, California, you just got a lot of weird freaks, huh? First Bigfoot and now...sentient pants?

Coming all the way from Fresno, California; Fresno Nightcrawlers! Oh, Fresno Nightcrawlers, my beloved, do I even need to explain why I love this creature? It looks like a marshmallow that grew legs. They strut so confidentially like they knew from day 1 they would be one of the most iconic legends of the modern day. Is it an alien? An escape science experiment? An undiscovered animal? No, its simply the Fresno Nightcrawler.

And dammit, I believe

The Sqounk

The Squonk is described as the ugliest little freak ever that cries all the time because of how UGLY it is. I don't even wanna show it because it's so UGLY. GOD. HELL. WHAT EVEN ARE YOU?

Ok, its kinda ugly cute, honestly. I just kinda wanna pick up the Sqounk and keep it as a pet. I feel like it would be similar to owning a pug, actually. The sqounk literally does just seem like a shaved pug

Slide-Rock Bolter

You ever just see some sort of monster and go, "Wow, you would make an AWESOME Pokémon"? That's me with the Slide-Rock Bolter. A giant bigmouth fish that lives up on cliffs or mountains, just waiting for people to walk by. When that happens, it slides down quickly and can swallow entire groups in one gulp.

Very tragic. Now as a Pokémon, make it a water ground type. Maybe a regional variant of Wailord? Gamefreak, if you want ideas, call me.

The Slide-Rock Bolter is actually from a group of cryptids known as Fearsome Critters, which are just a bunch of wacky creatures of American folklore. Maybe an idea for a future page...

Indrid Cold

Alright, who's our next weird creature? Maybe a cool alien or creepy critter creeping in the woods? No, its a guy. A very scary guy, I should say. Also known as The Grinning Man or Smiling Man, Indrid Cold is a very tall (maybe) human with a big permanent smile on his face.

When looking into this, I could only really find two big stories about Mr. Cold. One involving...UFOS!?!?!

The main story is from a man named Woodrow Derenberger who encountered a weird man on the side of the road at night. Apparently, Indrid Cold spoke without ever opening his mouth, just staring down at Derenberger with a frozen grin on his face. From what he said, Indrid was polite but pretty weird!

Others point out how Indrid Colds appeared around the same time as Mothman and UFOS sightings, which led to even more stories and conspiracy theories. Me though? Well, I personally think that Indrid Cold is an alien in human disguise with a very poor understanding of human social norms, but gosh darn it, he just wants to try and be your friend! Also, he and Mothman play Monopoly on the weekends.

Welp, thats all the cryptids I wanna talk about...for now. I can see myself writing a part two to this because theres just honestly so many more to talk about! Anyways, bye bye!